Sweetheart, your feelings are more important, of course. Of course. Everyone that wanted everything that we would take from them, I don’t wanna know, I don’t wanna know. Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me. No. Don’t. Okay.
Letter written by Charlotte Bronte to her sister Emily, after Emily’s death:
It seems as if I have been spending all my life apologizing to you for things that happened whether they were my fault or not.
I am enclosing your pin because I want you to think of what you took from me every time you see it.
I don’t want you to think I would kill myself over you because you’re not worth any emotion at all. It is what you cost me that hurts and nothing can replace it.
To who it may concern
Though I am about to kick the bucket I am as happy as ever. I am tired of this life so am going over to see the other side.
Good luck to all.
My mind — always warped and twisted — has reached the point where I can wait no longer — I don’t dare wait longer — until there is the final twist and it snaps and I spend the rest of my life in some state run snake pit.
I am going out — and I hope it is out — Nirvanha, I think the Bhudaists (how do you spell Bhudaists?) call it which is the word for “nothing.” That’s as I have told you for years, is what I want. Imagine God playing a dirty trick on me like another life!!!
I’ve lived 47 years — there aren’t 47 days I would live over again if I could avoid it.
Let us, for a moment be sensible. I do not remember if the partnership agreement provides for a case like this — but if it doesn’t and I think it doesn’t, I would much prefer — I haven’t time to make this a legal requirement — but, I would much prefer that you, as executrix under my will, do not elect to participate in profits for 2 or 3 years or whatever it may be that is specified there. My partners have been generous with me while I worked with them. There is no reason why, under the circumstances of my withdrawal from the firm, they should pay anything more.
I could wish that I had, for my goodby kiss, a .38 police special with which I have made some good scores — not records but at least made my mark. Instead, I have this black bitch — bitch, if the word is not familiar to you — but at least an honest one who will mean what she says.
The neighbors may think it’s a motor backfire ,but to me she will whisper — “Rest - Sleep.”
My darling, May her guts rot in hell — I loved her so much
You cops will want to know why I did it, well, just let us say that I lived 61 years too many.
People have always put obstacles in my way. One of the great ones is leaving this world when you want to and have nothing to live for.
I am not insane. My mind was never more clear. It has been a long day. The motor got so hot it would not run so I just had to sit here and wait. The breaks were against me to the last.
The sun is leaving the hill now so hope nothing else happens.
What is a few short years to live in hell. That is all I get around here.
No more I will pay the bills.
No more I will drive the car.
No more I will wash, iron & mend any clothes.
No more I will have to eat the leftover article that was cooked the day before.
This is no way to live.
Either is it any way to die.
Her grub I can not eat.
At night I can not sleep.
I married the wrong nag-nag-nag and I lost my life.
To love you as I do and live without you is more than I can bear. I love you so completely, wholeheartedly without restraint. I worship you, that is my fault. With your indifference to me; is the difference. I’ve tried so hard to make our lives pleasant and lovable, but you didn’t seem to care. You had great plans which didn’t include me. You didn’t respect me. That was the trouble. You treated me like a child. I couldn’t reach you as a man and woman or man and wife as we’ve lived. I let you know my feelings toward you when I shouldn’t have. How I loved you, what you meant to me. Without you life is unbearable.
This is the best way. This will solve all our problems. You can’t hurt me further and anyone else. I was a “toll” while you needed me or thought you did. But now that I could use some help, you won’t supply the need that was prominent when you need it. So, good bye my love. If it is possible to love in the hereafter, I will love you even after death. May God have mercy on both our souls. He alone knows my heartache and sorrow and love for you.
I have always been such a good girl.
Daddy dear —
As much as it hurts me, I cannot make it this Friday. I may be in very serious trouble. I have always been a very good person, but it looks like I really got in a mess, through no real fault of my own.
I must have been born to suffer. ~
For 23 years we lived happy together. Our married life was ideal, until two years ago when I witnessed Kristy die in the hospital something snapped in me. You remember when I returned from the hospital I broke down. That was the beginning of my illness. Since then my condition was getting progressively worse, I could neither work or think logically. You have been thru “Hell” with me since then. Only you and I know how much you have lived thru. I feel that I will not improve and can’t keep on causing you and the children so much misery. I loved you and was proud of you. I loved the children dearly and could not see them suffer so much on account of me.
Please forgive me. ~ To No-one and Everyone:
Because of a growing conviction that a hereditary insanity is manifesting itself beyond my control, I am taking this way out — before mere nuisance attacks and rages against others assume a more dangerous form.
If your Dad is, or was, a hard working man, and is your hero, helped you no matter how good or bad you were, and is just the best Dad ever, let everyone know you are proud of your Dad!… You can replace a lot of people in your life, but you can’t & never will replace the first man you loved x
Your Mum is YOUR MUM. Nobody can replace her. Nobody should replace her. Nobody can do half the things she does or has done for you. Nobody can compare to her. No one can love you more than she does. She’s only one person, but she’s the person that matters the most. I love my mother with all my heart x
I dreamed of him last night, I saw his face All radiant and unshadowed of distress, And as of old, in music measureless, I heard his golden voice and marked him trace Under the common thing the hidden grace, And conjure wonder out of emptiness, Till mean things put on beauty like a dress And all the world was an enchanted place.
And then methought outside a fast locked gate I mourned the loss of unrecorded words, Forgotten tales and mysteries half said, Wonders that might have been articulate, And voiceless thoughts like murdered singing birds. And so I woke and knew that he was dead.